Gonna Be a Party When the Broken Hearted Love Again

When I met you, I knew. I knew in some way, shape, or form, you would hold incredible significance to my life. I knew you were going to be a abiding. I knew you would change me.

And for the next few years, you were my best friend. Yes, we had our disagreements, merely we always made our way back to each other. I always felt y'all in my heart, there was nothing you could practise to brand me that upset for long. I already needed you.

So, as I had suspected for years, our relationship changed. Nosotros became lovers more than than friends. And I knew, the second I held you shut to me, I knew, but like I had known all those years earlier, that this was it for me. Y'all were it. All I wanted, and all I would ever need.

You take issues, my love. Internal struggles with yourself, external bug with your family and others effectually you ­ and it weighs you down. I never have held that against you. But the struggles you faced made information technology impossible for yous to love me the mode you lot wanted to, the style I needed you to. Nonetheless, for a year I held on, praying y'all would stay with me, praying you would get meliorate. Through all the fights, the petty disagreements, and the abuse, I stayed. Why?

I loved you blindly of form. I loved you without restrictions, and without caution. I loved you lot wildly. In my head, I knew yous could be better. I wanted to meet that happen for yous. I wanted to help you go to where you should be. I believed in you. I loved you and so securely, I would have, and did do, annihilation on Globe for yous.

My expectations and whatsoever other struggles you faced were too much for y'all, and the pressure you lot put on yourself suffocated you. Your eyes began to wander. You wanted something easier, someone who wouldn't push button yous to be meliorate, you couldn't handle the intensity of our beloved.

Y'all found what you were looking for, long before you really ended information technology with me, which still hurts me more than you could ever know. I can't believe my best friend, the love of my life, could do that to me. Just that's life sometimes.

Fast forward a few months from the day you told me someone else had more to offer, or at least, an easier pill for yous to swallow: you tell everyone that you're happy. You've come in and out of my life so often, breaking bits and pieces of me more and more every time. You tell me you're happy, and I know it's a lie.

I gave you lot time to come back to me, I gave you space and I offered you my loving arms to return to. It wasn't something yous would consider, you were too decorated doing fun, easy things, with someone who didn't deserve the person y'all used to be.

As I watched it happen, I felt pieces of myself, my soul, disintegrate and disappear. I grew colder, I put a wall up around myself. Letting myself feel soft for you but hurt me worse. At present, yous are upset that I refuse to be there for you like I used to be.

When you come up back to me asking for reassurance, only not asking to come up back, I am forced to give a cold shoulder.

If I don't, you won't allow me be, and I can't heal. I can tell through your words and your actions that you lot are heartbroken. You tell me you are hurt because I don't care anymore. But the truth is, yous are non who I one time loved. That person is gone. That person took some of the deepest parts of myself with them. I will always dearest them.

Had you tried for me, love, had you tried for you, nosotros would take been in love forever. But you didn't, and sitting effectually waiting for you lot only made things harder on me. I've accepted the fact that the you I one time knew is gone.

I didn't desire to movement on from you. I hoped in the deepest cell of my center that yous would come back and sweep me up and make things better. But eventually, I chose to move on. I chose to heal myself. I chose to fix what you shattered. Information technology didn't com hands, and almost everyday is a struggle… but I take to. Please don't concur that against me, every bit I have not held your demons against you. I needed to do it for me.

You are the love of my life, just you are long gone now.

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Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2016/08/an-open-letter-to-the-love-of-my-life-who-ended-up-breaking-my-heart/

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